Safety must always come first—for the person experiencing violence and for you. Never confront the abuser or make promises you can’t keep. Avoid actions that could escalate the situation.
Sometimes, offering help can put someone in more danger if the abuser finds out. Always be discreet, ask before taking action, and know that leaving an abusive situation can be one of the most dangerous times.
To make this situation less dangerous, it is essential to support the person in creating a safety plan. This may include helping them think about when and how to leave safely, gathering important documents, setting up a secret signal or safe word, and identifying trusted people or places they can go.
It's also important to respect their timing—some people may need to wait for the safest opportunity to act. Encourage them to contact a specialist service that can guide them through these steps and offer legal or housing support. Staying calm, patient, and available can help someone feel safer and more prepared as they make decisions about their next steps.
